ALASKAN PORTION OF CRUISE '08

 

"SAILING SAILING OVER THE MAIN"

 

Before we begin this learned dissertation, or whatever you call these scribbling's, it is necessary to explain just why we were so interested in doing this "cruise". Yes, the word cruise is in quotation marks .... For you landlubbers, this information is probably unnecessary, but for you curious sea-going nuts, it is important to realize the difference between several concepts ...

What’s the difference between a “cruise” and a “crossing” on a ship?
When is a ship a “liner” and when is it a “cruiser”? The two questions are related.

To find a solution to these deeply interesting questions, click here ....

 

Now that we have solved that perplexing problem, perhaps it is time to talk about the cruise we have just completed -- "The Slow Boat to China"

Elsie and I have always wanted to "do" this cruise as it is a "two fer" or really a "three fer". It is not only a Cruise to Alaska, but it is also a "Crossing" of the Pacific from North America to Asia, and it's also an Asian Cruise. And there it was ... on the Princess Cruise "List of Last Minute Cheap Cruise Deals" .How could we resist?

You know ... traveling the world has sure changed!!! It used to be that if you flashed your Canadian Passport, you were treated with some respect. Air flights used to be fun too. All this has changed due to the events of Sept 11th, and the world's worsening economic condition. Flying has become a game of basic human survival. Crammed into a seat with your knees around your ears, a surly flight attendant hurls your package of stale peanuts at you, and they call that dinner. Of course, that is if your flight is less than 5 hours long. If it is over that time period, you are given an aluminum container that contains ???? .... Gawd alone knows. As you are really hungry, you devour it hoping all the while that Air Canada won't poison you intentionally ... would they? But as for the contents having any taste ... forget it.

 

Well, this trip sure showed what has happened in the field of immigration security. As you can see from the trip itinerary on the side of this page, we were to leave Vancouver Port and travel north to the Alaskan ports before we headed west. This "cruise" meant that we had to clear American Homeland Security as we boarded the ship. Well, this is where the fun began!

Going on a Cruise entails that the traveler has to pack suitable clothing that would cover cold weather shore excursions, warm weather shore excursions as well as clothing suitable for the "formal nights" on board. The result ... three very large, and very heavy, suitcases. Elsie claims that the only reason she takes me on these little jaunts of hers is that I'm quite good at carrying suitcases ... the bigger and heavier the better. So, off we go on September 13th to get on the ship at Canada Place. Candace and Karmen, two very beautiful young neighbours, offer to drive us to the ship. What a deal!!! We arrive at 12:15 PM to begin to board the ship.

Climbing out of the car, I grab the cases and begin the struggle to get to the embarkation area. Hey, we see a sign that indicates that if we are traveling on the Diamond Princess, all we had to so is put our cases on this conveyor belt, and they would be whisked to our state room as by magic. Wow!!! I was getting cocky .... this will be a breeze. Another sign pointed our way through a set of doors .... the fun began!

Through the doors was the "holding pen". This is where you lined up in one of those "wonderful" mazes created by metal posts and tapes that formed about 40 individual lines and each about 50 yards long. It was FULL of people!!!! There must have been 300 people lined up waiting .... I could not believe my eyes!

Now, it has to be said that each Saturday for the entire cruising season, the Diamond Princess and the Holland American ship next door, have been loading at the same time. Also, both ships sail to Alaska with a similar age group of passengers. Many come from the US and Canada, but many also come from the UK and all over the world. Most of these travelers have flown in the day before, had one night in the hotel to try to overcome jet lag and then, up very early, to get to the ship. Many of these people are not exactly "Spring Chickens", and the signs of traveler fatigue are plain to see on all their faces. As you stand in line, there is no smoking, no food, no water, no seats ... just the cement floor to stand on. An hour and a half passes, and we have moved forward about 50 feet. What the hell is happening today?????

Instead of boring you with the events of the next hour and our glacial progress another 60 feet, those in charge finally decided to divide the people into Canadian and American Citizen lines and process them on their passports alone. but the rest ... the Brits etc. continued to wait as they had to go through "index finger" printing and have a picture taken .... I don't know if it is an optical scan or not.

Well, we finally got on board after a 2 1/2 hour wait. The rest of the passengers also did get on, but some had to wait up to 5 1/2 hours. Needless to say, they were FURIOUS!!!!

When we returned home, I got on the phone and spent a morning trying to find someone in Vancouver who gave a damn. I called Ports Canada, Tourism Canada, Tourism BC, Tourism Vancouver .... any number I could find, I called. You know what???? No one gave a DAMN. They all said that it was shame but not their responsibility. They all accepted the fact that Seattle was getting a greater share of the Alaska Cruise business, but that too was a shame, but not their responsibility. Even the suggestion of passing around bottled water or a lousy BC apple fell on very deaf ears. They really couldn't care less!!! Gawd, I hate bureaucrats !!!!!

Anyway, we did get on board, and the ship did finally sail. I wonder how many future tourists we lost on just that one disgrace?????

But, back to the "Cruise".

Elsie and I had previously been on an Alaskan Cruise, so visiting the same ports again held no magic for us. In fact, all the ports were strangely similar with the same type of shops selling the same types of souvenirs all at similar prices. I guess many years of Alaskan Cruise ship visits have homogenized the little towns to the degree that it is hard to tell just in which one you are. We got off and walked around each port, but we took no tours and bought no souvenirs. The weather turned wet for many of the visits so missing the tours did not bother us very much. Think of the money we were saving!!!!

In the mind of Princess, this was really two cruises -- one from Vancouver to Whittier Alaska and one from Whittier Alaska to Beijing. As a consequence, about half the ship disembarked in Alaska, and they were replaced with another contingent who were going on to Beijing or even further on to Bangkok Thailand. The fact that the ship was "FULL" put paid to our hope to be upgraded to a balcony suite. Because we have sailed so often with Princess, on the last two cruises, we booked the cheapest stateroom possible and were upgraded for free to the balcony suite. But, being full, meant that we were sentenced to "our box" with no windows for the entire cruise. Not to worry though, as we were on the 16th floor and within 40 feet of the stern of the ship. A very short walk, and we were beside a pool overlooking the stern ... as we headed south from Alaska, and the weather improved, we spent more and more time sitting there after dinner.

Speaking of dinner ... we lucked in on both segments of the Cruise. We always choose the early dinner in the formal dinning room as we find the Buffet to be not as much fun. I guess we like to be served!!! Anyway, to Alaska, we were put at a table for 6, but one couple did not show up very often for various reasons. the other couple, Chris and Gill were from England. We really enjoyed their company and over many dinners all the problems of mankind were discussed and, of course, solved!!!

For you English murder mystery fans who follow DI Rebus, DI Morris, Commander Delguish, DCI Linnley, DCI Barnaby etc. you know these ranks are fairly senior. Chris, though, is a retired CI (Chief Inspector) --- a very senior officer. You can just imagine the scope of many of our conversations....

Dinner was always fun and filled with a lot of laughter. The Chief Waiter for our table was a Thai chap, Kerdboom, AKA "Boom", who kept things moving smoothly. If he thought that we liked one particular course, suddenly, beside our elbows another serving appeared. There was no way you could say "no" to him, so all my clothes were becoming just a little snug. Ahhh well ... it's a dirty job but someone has to do it. Boom was responsible for several tables around us, and one time after Chris was teasing him a bit more than usual, Boom had him up to one of the other tables with the crumb remover working for his passage. It was very hard to be formal when Boom was involved!!! We really looked forward to dinner each night. The only problem was that Chris and Gill were only going as far as Whittier so we would have to "break in" new people for the second portion. Oh well all good things must come to an end....

Booze on board is expensive. One of the red wines they were serving in the dining room was priced pointed at $32.00 US. This is the wine we use when traveling down south as our "plonk" Iit was available in all the grocery stores for $6.99. Needless to say, we didn't drink a lot of wine at dinner.

Being savvy cruisers, we had several bottles secreted in our luggage as the Official Princess Policy is that there is only wine for ceremonial purposes allowed to be brought on board. Going 22 days without our Gin and Tonics or Rye and Waters was a possibility not worth considering. With careful husbanding, we thought that our supply might be coaxed into lasting most of the days on board. However, by the second port we were getting just a little concerned. We might run out. What to do ????

We were getting back on Board after visiting Juneau, when we noticed the couple just a head of us, each carrying 2 - 5 litre boxes of white wine. One fellow behind us had two cases of 18 can Coors beer. As you had to have everything you brought on board X rayed by security, we were curious to see just what would be said to them as they were flagrantly breaking the policy. To our great delight, they sailed through without a word being said!!! The problem was solved!!!! Our stock was quickly replenished in Skagway and Kodiak.

The last thing to talk about here is the Onboard Internet Service, or rather the lack of the service. Because we had cruised so often on Princess, we were supposed to have free internet for the voyage. Well, two days after leaving Vancouver, the service went down. The poor guy who was the Manager of the Internet Cafe must have glimpsed what hell looks like in the following days. People would blame him for the problems and actually yell and scream at him as if he was responsible for the problems. Semi-jokingly, he asked me if I would be his body guard .... More will be said about this in the next Alaska to Beijing epistle, but suffice it to say, it was a good thing that Princess did apply a financial credit to us in lieu of having the internet service. I think that stopped the riot.....